Held
by Scout101
Summary: Elliot has to make a choice.


**1.**

It comes to pass on a regular day.

He comes to work, two coffees in hand; she's already there. He perches on her desk, hands her a cup, and she leans back in her seat to takes a sip. Closes her eyes, asks how he is. He takes the opportunity to look at her a moment longer than he should, and tells her he's fine, tired. You? Oh, fine. Tired.

It's an old routine.

The case they're working is complicated. Guy's wife and kid are missing, a daughter. She's only five, so that's hard. Two other missing girls in the same area in the last 6 months but the wife thing, that's new. The other two cases are still open, so they don't have much to go on, and it's been 3 days. Time and the experts say they're probably dead by now, but Olivia doesn't think so. Not if the mother's there. Maybe the guy wants something this time.

"Any new leads?"

She shakes her head and rubs her eyes. He rolls his. Bets she stayed till all hours last night.

It's pretty quiet till about ten. Then it explodes because the father goes on TV without telling them. He begs for his wife and daughter to be returned safely. Elliot feels for him. I mean, what would you do? Still, it's a spanner in the works. Now whoever it is knows the cops and everyone else in New York City have their eyes peeled. Could spook him. Anyway, it's a headache.

Cragen's mad as hell, and there's a lot of shouting because it looks like the police have been sitting on their asses for 3 days, and nothing. It's unfair, but he's right. The public always assumes the worst of them. He doesn't get that, because they put away a lot of perps but still, they can never cut a break. What about all the times they get it right?

Then, two things happen simultaneously.

Olivia gets a call, an anonymous tip. Someone's seen the girl in Battery Park, they're sure its her. Kid's got red hair – not totally unusual, but definitely less common than blondes or brunettes. That, and the fact that she's wearing red shoes, same as the day she went missing, make it a solid lead.

So Olivia gets a phone call. And Elliot gets a package.

"Elliot Stabler?"

It's an unfamiliar voice, and his head jerks up. "Yeah?"

"Package for you, sir, it was dropped off downstairs." The cops young, a rookie.

"Thanks." Weird to be getting a package. If you can call it that. It's just a big, white envelope, and he's already got a bad vibe.

"El, let's go." Olivia's ready to chase the lead, but he's staring at a piece of paper - A4, plain white, black typed font. Later it'll get lab tested, but they'll find nothing.

"El? What is it?"

"Shit. Shit!"

Cragen's asking what's wrong, and so's Liv. There's a lot of voices. "It's a threat. Shit. I don't know if its real."

"Who's it addressed to?" Cragen snaps.

"Me. But it's not about me. I gotta go, I gotta –"

Cragen's hand is on his shoulder and Olivia's whipped the paper clean out of his hand. She reads it out loud, which somehow makes it worse.

"Detective Stabler - you better watch out, you better not cry: I want you to know what it's like to say goodbye to someone you love."

She pauses. "Shit, El."

"That's what I'm saying."

"Is it from our perp?"

"I don't know, but I gotta go get Kathy and the kids. Captain?"

"Go," he says. "It could be nothing, but I don't wanna take the risk."

"I'll go with you," Olivia grabs her coat.

Captain holds her back. "No Liv. You and Fin get to Battery Park, see what you can make of this lead."

Elliot's already halfway out the door, but he turns back, just for a second. "I'll see you back here later, yeah?"

"Yeah." She nods, and he's gone.

**2.**

Number one, it's cold down by the water, and number two, there's no girl. Maybe they just got there too late, or maybe the lead was no good in the first place. Either way, Olivia's frustrated.

"Come on, Liv. We've canvassed the whole damn park." They're sitting on a bench, and the wind's whipping her hair around her face. It's annoying, but she sits still, eyes peeled.

Fin calls it being in the zone.

"Five more minutes," she murmurs.

He sighs. Maybe there's a hot dog stand around. He hates it downtown in the fall, it always feels empty. Stark. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a pair of short legs running, but when he turns around there's a guy with the kid anyway, and she's got brown hair and a dog on a leash.

Liv shakes her head. "I've got a bad feeling this case isn't gonna close. At least, not without more little girls going missing."

"Maybe they aren't related. I mean why'd he take the mother? It's a different MO."

They've already discussed this possibility, but. What else is there to go off? For right now, they can't ignore the similarities. All young girls between five and ten, all reported missing on weekend afternoons from parks within the same, well-to-do area. Taking Mom was a risk, but maybe she put up too good a fight for her daughter. Maybe she was dead, dumped straight away. A by-product of the intended crime, the snatch. And now there was this business with El. It was unsettling.

"I don't know," she says finally. "But yeah, we're done here I think. Let's go."

They head to the car, and Fin spots a stand. "Hold on," he says, "I'm starving. Want something?"

Olivia shakes her head. Men, always thinking about the next meal. She checks her phone, but nothing from Elliot.

"Excuse me, got the time?"

She turns around, and is surprised to be greeted by a gun pointed at her stomach.

"Don't run, don't scream. Let's go."

Sometimes, she thinks, it really is that easy.

**3.**

By the time Fin gets back, she's already lost to the crowd. At first he thinks she's still looking for the girl. It only takes him 20 minutes to scan the park though, and she's definitely not in it. Also, she's not answering her phone, her texts, the radio. Nothing. His stomach's in a knot; he knows its bad.

"Captain," he radio's in, "We got a problem."

**4.**

Elliot's calling home but there's no answer. Kathy was dropping Eli off at day-care though, and she runs errands in the morning, so he's going to ignore the rising panic in his throat. He is. Only she's not answering her cell phone either, and that's unusual.

Not unheard of. But unusual.

He screeches into the driveway, and there's his house, same as he left it this morning. It's strangely comforting. There's his windows, his front stoop, the worn door. No evidence of foul play, he says to himself. Kathy's probably right inside.

Still, the silence is kind of eerie. "Kathy?" he calls. "You home?"

He runs upstairs, but nothing. Eli's bed, (well, it was Maureen's once, but she doesn't need it now and Eli had to get out of that cot at some point), has been made. The laundry is folded.

"Kathy!" his voice is rising. She's probably just out running errands. He tries her on the cell again, but no answer.

Downstairs, there's a blanket on the couch, still rumpled. Sometimes he doesn't sleep upstairs, but they don't talk about that anymore. He feels guilty even looking at it, and mad at himself. He resolves to stop. He's been resolving to stop all year. Goddamn it.

In the kitchen, the dirty breakfast dishes are stacked neatly in the sink. Everything is in order. Everything is fine. He'll sit and wait for Kathy, and keep trying her cell, except now he sees it. Fear slices through him. Kitchen door, leads onto the porch out back. Perfectly in tact except for a small break near the handle. Its the right size, his hand would fit through it easily, any man's would. It's such a small, clean break that he's momentarily distracted; how'd the perp do that? His cop brain is switched on, he can't help it. Glass on the kitchen floor means the break came from outside the door. This wasn't an accident, it wasn't one of the kids.

He holds onto the kitchen bench. He has to call the Captain, he has to call the day-care centre. He has to call his other kids. Christ, what if he got to all of them?

He tries to breathe. He tries to breathe.

**5.**

Back at the house, its chaos. The Captain's yelling at Fin, yelling down the phone. There's already a unit at Elliot's house. They haven't told him about Liv yet because he's too busy rounding up his kids, and Kathy, it seems, is as good as gone. She hasn't answered her cell all morning.

It's bad

Fin's quiet. He fucked up. That's not to say anyone in his place wouldn't have done the same thing, but still. He was there and now Liv's gone, and yeah, it's bad.

Captain's still yelling. "OK. This guys got Liv, so let's assume he's got Kathy too. This is targeted at Elliot. I want a list of every perp that Elliot's collared who've been released in the last 12 months. Every name, every file."

"I'm on it," says Fin, and he knows he's not sleeping tonight, not sleeping till they've got Liv back and nailed this asshole. He's going about his business in the usual way because he has to. But inside, his stomach's clenched.

Next thing, Elliot bursts in. The kids are OK, they're with Kathy's sister. Where the fuck is Liv?

Cragen has the decency to do it in private.

He shuts the door, pulls the blinds in his office. Elliot's tense. He knows before Cragen's said a word.

"Don't," he says. "Don't say it."

"I'm sorry," says Cragen. "We think he's got Liv."

Elliot's gripping the arms of his chair. "Who was with her?"

"Elliot."

"Who?" he shouts.

"It was Fin. There was nothing he could do."

"Bullshit," says Elliot, already on his feet.

"Elliot, I'm telling you, it could have been me and it would have been the same." Cragen's raising his voice now, because he knows what Elliot's capable of in a rage.

But he's already out the door, and Fin's waiting for it anyway. They just stare at each other, and Elliot suddenly can't speak. His throat's closed.

For once, Fin gets it. There's no anger in his voice when he says he's sorry; he means it.

"How could you let this happen?" Elliot says finally, but there's no fire in his voice. He sounds tired, and broken, and he pushes past Fin before he can reply. In the crib, he collapses onto the nearest bed and puts his head in his hands. This isn't a nightmare, its real.

And it's his fault. Somehow, it's all linked to him.

**6.**

Olivia's smart, she does what she's told. There's no back-up, and there's civilians everywhere. She hands over her gun and her phone, the guy even wants her badge. His arm's snaked under her coat, gun pressed firmly at her side, so she's in no position to be making demands. Still, she has to talk.

"Where are we going," she asks.

"Shut up." His voice is rough and low. He's taller than her, but not by much, and he looks like he hasn't shaved in a few days. She doesn't know why she notices that first, even before his hair or eye colour.

They sidle up to a car, and he opens the front door, shoves her in.

"How're ya doin sweetheart?" A second male voice, this one's cocky. She turns around and gasps.

"Kathy, Jesus Christ!"

Kathy's shaking and doesn't say a word. Number Two's got a gun in her side, and her hands are tied. There's no sign that she struggled, no blood, no cuts.

"Oh good," Number Two says cheerfully, "You already know each other."

"Olivia, what is this?" Kathy's voice betrays her fear. She doesn't get a chance to answer before he's pressing the gun harder against her.

"No talking," he says. Olivia tries to look reassuring.

Fat chance.

The first guy's in the driver's seat, and he starts the engine. "Everyone buckled in?" he says with a smirk, and accelerates.

**7.**

Olivia's hoping they're dumb enough to continue on like this, but no such luck. After about ten minutes, Joe - that's the driver - leans over and opens the glove box. He tosses her something black and heavy and tells her to put it over her head, right down, covering her eyes. There's one for Kathy too.

She knows his name is Joe because that's what Number Two calls him.

She tries to concentrate on sounds, on the movement of the car - anything that might help her figure out where they are. But it's hard. The windows are closed, and Joe's a bad driver.

She takes a risk. "So, Joe. What's this all about huh?" Her voice sounds muffled under her mask. "A cop and a cop's wife? You think this is gonna work out the way you want it to?"

The blow is instant and excruciating, right to the middle her face. She can taste blood, and feels it trickling from her nose. Kathy inhales sharply in the back but doesn't say anything, which is a good choice.

"No questions," says Joe.

Olivia swallows. OK. So Joe is violent and unpredictable. So far, it doesn't bode well. She shuts up, for now.

She can't be sure, but she estimates they drive for at least an hour and a half. It's tough to tell though. It feels like an eternity, sitting there in silence. She wonders about Elliot. He must be beside himself.

She tells herself no matter what, Kathy comes first. She will keep that woman alive if it kills her.

When they come to a stop, she's led from the car by one of them, she thinks Joe. There's no grass under her feet, it feels like concrete. They go through a door, and the air is immediately cool and damp. An old warehouse or building maybe? She can't be sure. The door shuts behind them. She's shaking, she can't help it, but the masks are finally allowed off.

Now she's sure it's a warehouse. The room she's in is pretty big, and the walls are concrete too. There's not much inside. Joe wastes no time tying her hands together, and stands her next to Kathy.

Then he smiles. "Well pretty ladies. Now we wait."

**8.**

Elliot is going through the files as quickly as he can, but he can't find a connection. They don't think its related to the missing kids, except maybe the phone call this morning, the lead. To lure Olivia out. It is no exaggeration to say time is of the essence. He doesn't allow himself to imagine the possibilities, at least not for very long. Kathy dead, Olivia dead. The words run over and over in his head, and he squeezes his eyes shut.

Cragen doesn't bother to tell him to go home to the kids.

At three, his phone rings. It says its Kathy.

Cragen's right there, and Fin, but he's scared to answer it. He slowly picks up.

"Kathy?" he says softly.

"Elliot Stabler." The voice is matter of fact, gruff.

"Who is this?"

"Good to hear your voice again, Detective!"

Elliot pauses. "Do I know you?"

"Maybe, maybe. I've been lucky enough to meet your lovely wife though."

Elliot feels sick. "Where is she?"

"Oh, around. But in good health Elliot, don't you worry."

"Where's Olivia?" His voice sounds tight, and he curses himself. He doesn't want to sound like he's in a panic. He wants to sound like he's in control.

"Olivia! Well she's right here next to me Elliot, and let me tell you she's a looker, she really is." A low whistle comes through the phone. "Hey, you wanna talk to her?"

Cragen's trying to get a tap on the phone as quick as he can, and then suddenly there's Olivia's voice.

"Elliot?"

His stomach flips at the familiar lilt. He can't even speak.

"Kathy's OK," she says, too softly.

"What about you?" he says, but she's gone.

"That's it for now Elliot. See you soon huh?"

He turns to Fin. "Did you get a location?"

"Not this time. But now we know he's in contact, we'll be ready."

It doesn't sit well with Elliot. It's too easy. Unless this guy is a total idiot, he knows the cops'll tap the phone.

Elliot shakes his head. "We won't have to wait long."

Fin already knows. He gives Elliot a long look.

"He wants to be found. He wants me."

**9.**

Olivia counts two skylights and two doors. One of the doors they came in by, so the other one leads to somewhere else within the building. The skylights are no help – the ceiling's too high anyway. But she can see its starting to get dark outside.

She's sitting on the floor and Kathy's next to her.

"Are you OK?" she asks gently.

"Do you recognise these guys?" Kathy asks.

"No. At least I don't think so."

"Maybe Elliot knows them."

"Maybe." She smiles weakly. "I'm sure he's onto it."

Elliot, Elliot. She thinks about his face, and how she's memorised every line, every expression. She's sitting right next to his wife, and the thoughts feel like a betrayal. But what else is she supposed to think about? All the other men in her life? Her empty apartment?

She hates herself.

Joe's gone through the other door, the one that leads to somewhere else, so she takes the opportunity to grill Number Two.

"What's your name?" she asks casually.

He looks at her and leers.

"Why do you wanna know?"

She shrugs. "If we're gonna be spending all this time together I may as well know your name, right?"

"You can call me Mac," he says, "or Honey. Whatever comes natural."

She tries to stop the disgust seeping into her voice. "Mac short for something?"

"It's short for Mac."

She takes a breath. "So how do you know Joe, Mac? You guys partners?"

Mac's looking at the door. When Joe doesn't appear, he shakes his head.

"Joe just pays me."

He grins that cocky grin again and walks towards her. "What about you, Olivia? You got a boyfriend?"

He bends down in front of her, looks her in the eye. She doesn't say anything, even when he strokes her hair and lets his hand move down her neck to her breast. It takes a lot of effort not to spit in his face.

The door slams and he jumps up. Joe's marching over.

"What's this?" he barks.

"Nothing, she was asking too many questions," says Mac. "I was just reminding her to keep her mouth shut."

Joe looks over at Olivia. "What'd I tell you about asking questions?" he asks.

"I'm sorry," she says, but apologies don't work on Joe. He heaves her to her feet and slaps her, twice. She's heaving, but stays upright.

"One more fucking question," he says, "and "I'll slit your fucking throat. Understand?"

She nods, and he shoves her to the floor. The blood's pouring out of her nose, probably because of the blow in the car. She tries to breathe through her mouth so she doesn't inhale it.

Kathy's got tears on her face, but Olivia has to commend her - she stays completely silent.

"And you," Joe turns to Mac. "Don't fucking touch her again. You know the rules."

He picks up Kathy's phone again. "Time for another chat."

**10.**

This time when the phone rings, the taps in place. Cragen's warned him to stay calm, and Elliot wants shake him. Stay calm? How the fuck is he supposed to stay calm?

"Hello?"

"Detective!" The voice is almost jovial. "Long day for you?"

"You could say that." That tightness in his voice again. Cragen's mouthing at him, telling him to keep the guy talking. He clears his throat.

"You haven't told me what you want yet," he says.

"What I want? Well haven't you guessed yet?"

"Nope, spose not," he says.

The asshole laughs, which infuriates Elliot. "I know you're not that stupid Detective. So tell me, who would you like to say hello to? Your wife or your partner?"

"My wife," says his voice, even as he thinks Olivia's name. He closes his eyes. I'm a fucking asshole, a fucking asshole.

"Elliot?" Kathy sounds scared shitless. I'm a fucking asshole.

"Honey, everything's going to be OK. Are you OK?"

"I'm OK," she says, and he thinks she's crying.

Cragen's giving him the thumbs up, which means they've got a location. He's already reaching for his car keys.

"You there, Detective?" says the male voice.

"I'm here."

"Good. Maybe we'll meet soon huh?"

"Maybe."

"I'll look after these girls till then."

"Is Olivia OK?" Fucking fuck. He's said it before he can stop himself.

"Olivia?" There's a long pause, as if he's contemplating the question. "Oh, she's fine. Just fine."

The dial tone rings in his ear, and he can't do anything but hang up.

"There's a unit on standby," says Cragen. "Let's move."

**11.**

Olivia's tense. She knows for sure they would have tapped the phone, which means they must be on their way. She has a bad, bad feeling. Joe's smart, he's got this whole thing planned out. He's got Kathy, and her.

Only one missing from this party is Elliot.

If it's a lure, it's working, but why? What's Joe's connection to Elliot?

She's tired. Kathy's been a good hostage, quiet and unassuming. But Olivia's not built like that. As soon as Joe leaves the room again, she's asking Mac how he knows Elliot.

"I don't know Elliot. I told you, I'm just getting paid to do a job."

"What's the job, exactly? To watch over two women? Or is there more to it?"

"You're really asking for another one Olivia, you know that? Maybe I'll give it to you myself."

She wants to push it, but doesn't. Even so, when Mac walks past he kicks her in the side for good measure.

She looks over at Kathy and tries to give a little shrug, like, hey, I tried right? But Kathy's tight-lipped and pale, and for a second she feels bad. She's a cop, made of tougher stuff. Kathy's just a civilian. This is the sort of thing Elliot doesn't talk about at home, and she's making it worse.

"Sorry," she mouths, and Kathy's eyes spill over. She shakes her head, which Olivia takes to mean, it's not your fault.

They wait.

**12.**

When they finally get there, Cragen tells Elliot to make the call. The warehouse is surrounded, but that means shit. This could get ugly, quickly. Elliot's sure this guy has a gun, or worse.

"No stupid moves, Elliot. I mean it. Follow orders." Cragen's tone is sharp, no nonsense.

"I know," he says.

**13.**

Kathy's phone starts ringing. Olivia's heart starts to thump. They're here, she's sure of it.

"Detective!" Joe's voice booms through the empty warehouse. "You've arrived?"

He listens, then laughs. "You're not the one calling the shots, Elliot. Cause guess what? I've got the gun and the girls. And I'll tell ya, Olivia's already looking a little worse for wear."

"What does that mean?" Elliot's stomach clenches.

"You'll see for yourself. You are coming in, aren't you?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Oh yeah. That's what I want."

Dial tone.

Elliot turns to Cragen, who's listening in.

"No way, Elliot."

"Got another suggestion?"

"Negotiation. Be patient."

"That's not what he wants! He wants me Captain, you KNOW it. Get me in there now." Elliot's yelling.

Then a voice from behind. "He's right."

"Stay out of this Fin." The Captains livid, there have been too many fuck-ups already.

"Captain, I'm telling you he's right. I'll back him."

"OHH, well that makes me feel so much better."

"Captain." Elliot's voice is low, he's looking at him right in the eye. "Please. Just get me in there. This guy wants me. Not Kathy, not Olivia, me. I don't know why, but I'm the only one that's got a shot at get getting them out of there."

Cragen exhales. "Get suited up, and get a wire on. You too, Fin. I want you right outside, just in case. If I lose contact, I'll have no choice - we're coming in."

Elliot's getting his wire plugged in when he turns to Fin. "Thanks," he says.

Fin nods. He speaks quietly.

"Just get her out."

**14.**

Olivia does not like waiting. Her palms are sweating, and her wrists itch where they're tied up behind her. Her arms are sore, her face is sore. And she's worried out of her mind.

There's a knock at the door, and Joe's waiting to open it.

"Detective Stabler! Come in. It's not much, but..." he trails off and shrugs. She can't see him yet, but already the air is different. It's so fucking cheesy even she can't believe herself.

"Where are they?" Elliot doesn't waste time, and the door slams shut behind him.

"Not so fast, Detective. We need to do a little weapons check first huh?" He grabs Elliot and slams him against the wall, pats him down. Elliot prays that the wire isn't discovered. They're tiny these days, but still.

Joe's satisfied, and Elliot suddenly feels better that Fin's right outside, ready to kick in the door if he needs to.

"So, you'd like to see your ladies?"

Elliot just nods.

Joe motions him to follow, and they walk towards the other end of the room. Two figures are huddled together on the floor. Another man helps Kathy up and he's flooded with relief. She doesn't seem hurt, and he thanks God silently.

He's not so helpful with Olivia. He grabs her roughly and yanks her to her feet.

Elliot's heart stops. "Jesus Christ," he hisses.

Olivia's face is a mess. Her right cheekbone is black and her nose and chin are covered in blood. It's trickled down her neck, he can't even tell where it's coming from.

"It looks worse than it is," she says softly, even though she has no idea how she looks.

"Shut up," says the man holding her arm.

"Elliot, Elliot. I've been waiting a long time to see you again," says Joe.

"I don't know who you are." Elliot says shortly. "Why don't you introduce yourself properly?"

"There's plenty of time Elliot. Why don't YOU tell me who these women are? Just to make sure I've got the right ones, huh?"

Olivia grits her teeth. Elliot's no good with mind games, not when he's pissed off and emotional. In her mind, she pleads with him to stay calm.

"That's my wife," he says finally, pointing. "And that's my partner."

"Well done. You'll be happy to know we like your wife, Elliot. She's been no trouble at all. But as you can see," he grabs Olivia's chin roughly, "your partner's another story."

Elliot stays silent.

"Are you wondering what we're all doing here, Elliot?"

"Yeah, I am. There are easier ways to get in touch with me."

Joe indulges him with a smile. "Where's the fun in that? We're here to figure out something very important, Elliot."

"What's that?"

"You'll see."

"Why don't you just tell me what it is you want? If it's me, then I don't see why I can't just escort these ladies outside where there's a lot of cops waiting. Something I'm sure you already know."

"I don't give a fuck about the cops Elliot. I got everything I need right here. It won't take long."

Elliot looks up, and Olivia's looking right at him. They lock eyes, just for a second. It's too much, he has to look away. He has to concentrate.

Joe's watching intently. He smiles suddenly. "What would you say if I did this?" he walks over to Olivia and slaps her clean across the mouth.

Elliot flinches, clenches his fists. "Stop it."

"She's a tough cookie, Elliot. She can handle it." He shoves her backwards suddenly and she stumbles. But she doesn't fall down.

"Enough," he snaps.

Joe laughs. "Relax, Elliot. We're just getting started! And I've got a question for you."

"I'll answer a question after you do," he says. But Joe's got a glint in his eye that's starting to get scary.

"Not the way the game works Elliot."

Olivia breathing heavy, she's nervous. It makes Elliot nervous.

"Pretty ladies, huh Elliot?" he taunts.

Elliot just nods.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?"

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Who's the most beautiful woman in the room Elliot, huh? Which one?"

Elliot forces a laugh. "What's that got to do with anything?"

But Joe's not laughing now and neither's Elliot – because he's got a gun out and it's aimed at his head.

"It's an important question Elliot. You don't want to fuck this one up do you?"

Elliot swallows, he feels sick.

"My wife," he says finally, but glances at Olivia when he says it, and that Joe, he doesn't miss a beat.

"Your wife, huh? She sure is pretty." He looks at Olivia sympathetically. "Looks like you lose this one, honey."

Then he laughs. "Can't say I blame him, with your face covered in all that shit."

Olivia doesn't even blink, but she's suddenly tired.

"Why are you doing this?" She asks it softly, calmly, and it infuriates him. His hand wraps around her throat and he pushes her back till her head hits the wall behind her.

"Why don't you shut the fuck up, ever?" he hisses in her face.

"Calm down," Elliot says, panic creeping into his voice. "Just calm down. She didn't mean anything by it. Let's all work this out together OK? Just let her go." Elliot's hands are in the air, he's slowly moving in a semi-circle till he's as close to Olivia as he dares to get. Her eyes slowly turn and lock again on his.

Elliot's throat closes up.

"If your wife's so fucking beautiful," Joe spits, "then why do you keep looking at Olivia?"

Elliot flushes. "I'm not," he says quietly.

He becomes aware of Kathy looking at him closely. Olivia hasn't said a word, but her heart's pounding incessantly in her chest.

Elliot forces himself to go over to his wife. "You OK?" he asks her.

She nods, mute.

"Well that's nice Elliot. Really." Joe's got that maniacal look in his eye again, and his hand is still around Olivia's throat, which is a problem for Elliot. "I'm sure she's touched. Aren't you Kathy?"

Kathy's eyes spill over, and she nods. Elliot looks at her and feels an overwhelming sorrow. He wipes a tear off her cheek with his thumb. "It's gonna be OK," he says softly.

"Whaddya think about that Olivia? Is it gonna be OK?" Joe asks.

"That depends on you, Joe."

The smile vanishes from his face.

Elliot jumps on it. "Joe? That your name?"

"Yeah," Olivia answers for him. "You know any Joe's, El?"

"Shut up. Shut up, I mean it."

"I don't think I do. What's your last name Joe?" They're in partner mode, and its working. Joe's losing control.

"I'm in charge!" roars Joe. "Me!" Spit flies out of his mouth, and Mac's looking nervous.

"You don't look like you're in charge, Joe", says Olivia. "Waving that gun around. You look like a little crazy actually."

"Crazy huh," he hisses into her face.

"Yeah Joe, crazy. And no matter what happens in here, you're going to prison. I don't know how many cops are outside waiting to lock you up."

"You think I give a fuck about being locked up? Huh? You think I give a fuck? I already been locked up, you bitch."

"Oh yeah? What for?"

"Ask him. Or don't you remember, Detective Stabler."

OK. So it IS an old perp, someone he's put away before.

"Your face doesn't look familiar Joe, but why don't you remind me," he says.

"Joseph. Renzo." He spits the words out.

For a second, Elliot's confused, but then he remembers. Holy shit, he remembers.

Olivia's looking at him, trying to gauge his reaction.

"Your wife was killed," he says. "Jesus it must be 15 years ago now."

"My wife was killed, that's right. She was killed by you fuckers, or have you forgotten that detail?"

"I haven't forgotten. But you were a drug addict. You were so high you didn't know which way was up."

"What the FUCK does that have to do with anything?"

"When did you get out?"

"A year ago. And I've been waiting for you ever since. What do you think about that?" Joe's voice is triumphant.

"Why me? There were five or six officers on the scene that day."

"YOU were the one that told that cop to shoot. YOU did!"

"I told him to shoot because you were coming at us with a cocked gun, Joe. Your wife was the one who called us in the first place. She was terrified of what you'd do."

"That's bullshit. My wife loved me."

"She loved you when you weren't high," Elliot says softly, "because when you were high you couldn't keep your hands off your daughter."

The air suddenly chills. Olivia tenses.

"That's a lie." Joe's pointing the gun straight at Elliot.

"You know it's not. But you're right about your wife. It was an accident. I didn't shoot her, one of the other policeman did. She stepped into the line of fire and I'm sorry."

Joe stills. "You're sorry?" he whispers. "Sorry? You fucked my life up. My wife is dead. My daughter doesn't speak to me. Everyone I love is gone. So guess what?"

But Elliot already knows.

"Now it's your turn."

**15.**

Suddenly, Olivia can't see this ending OK.

Elliot's trying to keep things in control, but Joe's a loose cannon. And he's determined to make Elliot pay.

Jesus.

"SO Elliot Stabler! This is the grand finale!" Joe's voice is piercing in the empty space. "Eenie meenie minie moe! Tell me who is gonna go!" He laughs hysterically.

"Which one, Elliot? I mean I'm being generous, aren't I? Letting you keep one? I didn't get to keep my wife OR my daughter, so really, I should be taking both away from you. But I won't, cause I'm a nice guy, really. I learnt a lot in prison. And the best part is," he brings his voice to a whisper, "YOU get to choose who you wanna keep."

Olivia's shaking. Christ. Jesus fucking Christ this is bad.

Kathy's not crying anymore. She's looking right at Elliot, poor Elliot who has to make this choice.

"It's hard, huh Elliot? I guess the question is, who do you love the most?"

"The only way this is gonna end is with you dead or in prison again Joe. Is that what you really want?"

"You know for a detective you're pretty fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck about prison, or about dying. My life's about as fucked as its every gonna get. The only thing I care about is payback."

"Don't do this."

"Don't do this," Joe mimics. "Hurry up. Make a choice. You want some help?"

"No," says Elliot. Too late, Joe swirls on his feet and heads to Kathy.

"Hi sweetheart. Did you ever think it would come to this?" He puts his arms around Kathy, holds her close. "You smell like a mother, you know that?"

"Get your fucking hands off her." Elliot's voice is low and measured.

"No? Not this one? I understand - she's the mother of your children right?"

He turns again and marches straight to Olivia. He cocks the gun and points it right at her head. Olivia's throat dries, but she doesn't close her eyes.

"Just imagine it Elliot - here she is, living, breathing, and then BAM," he slams the gun against her forehead. "Just like that, she's gone. Bullet right between the eyes. Falling to the floor like a piece of trash."

"STOP!" Now it's Elliot who roars.

But Joe, he just smiles. "Ding ding ding," he whispers. "We have a winner."

**16.**

Elliot tries to breathe. He tries to calm down.

"I'm gonna kill you myself. I'm gonna kill you," he says slowly.

"Can't wait," says Joe. "So listen, you go ahead and take Olivia and go. She's the one, right?" He grabs Olivia, pushes her towards him.

She stumbles, but it's OK, he's there. He's got her. His arms are around her waist and he's standing her up again, gently. She raises her eyes to look at him. Her heart is thudding, actually thudding, and she's convinced he can hear it.

They're looking at each other and Olivia wants to cry. Her eyes well up and she looks away, but the damn tears are already falling.

He doesn't say anything, just wipes one away. He doesn't often touch her face, actually. But hey, it's a special occasion. She swallows, and turns back to face him. She wants to tell him that she loves him, but that would be unfair. He has a wife to save, after all.

"Elliot?" That's Kathy, behind her. She sounds confused.

Elliot looks at Olivia. She can see it all there, and she forgives him. She nods, ever so slightly, but he doesn't let go. He can't let go.

"El." She says it so softly. She doesn't want anyone else to hear this. This is just for them. "It's OK."

"No."

"Get her out." Her voice is firm, she doesn't waver.

"And I'm just supposed to leave you?" His voice is thick.

"Yes." She's calm.

His jaw is clenching, his arms are still around her. Their faces are inches apart, she can feel his breath on her face. She could kiss him if she wanted to.

"I can't." He whispers this.

But she knows he will.

"You're all bloody." He whispers that too. He tries to wipe around her nose frantically, and she gives a half laugh.

"It doesn't matter," she says. "Get out of here." She tries to smile, but it's hard, even for her.

"Elliot," says Kathy again, and now she sounds frightened.

He looks at her one last time, and mouths "I'm sorry." Last time, that was her line. Then he lets her go, and walks to his wife's side.

Joe's watching with a great deal of interest.

"Well well," he says, "That was so close. I really couldn't have called it."

"What happens now?"

"Now, you walk out. You take your lovely wife and you walk out of here."

"What about Olivia?"

"I'm going to kill Olivia," He says this serenely.

"I'm begging you," Elliot says.

"Sorry Elliot, shows over. And on your way out, tell the detective at the door that if he takes one step in here, I'll make sure it lasts longer."

He can't believe it's over so quickly. He can't believe he's let this happen.

Joe's getting impatient. "GET OUT!"

"Elliot," says Kathy. That's three times. He grabs her arm and does the right thing. He reaches the door, and he won't look back, no way. He can't look back. He opens it, Fins there. He's heard it all. He grabs Kathy's other arm and they start running down towards the cop cars. He hears the door slam behind him, and that's when the very worst thing happens.

He starts to cry.

**17.**

Kathy's looking at him. It's not an angry look. He thinks it might be pity. Fin's trying to pull him away, but she stops him. Someone's cut the rope so her arms are free.

"Give us a minute," she says to Fin, and he backs off.

"Elliot," she says. "Look at me."

He's ashamed and sick and heartbroken, but he looks at her.

"You got me out."

He nods.

"Why'd you pick me?"

He stares. "You're my wife," he finally says, but he sounds like he's choking on the words.

She nods.

"The thing is, i think the answer is meant to be 'because you love me'." She says this without any malice whatsoever. It's just a fact, and she's not stupid.

"I do," he tries to say, but she cuts him off.

"Not the same as you used to. So go."

He doesn't understand.

"Go get her Elliot. It's OK."

There's a swoosh of air in his lungs. "Kathy," he says, but she shakes her head.

"You're wasting time Elliot. Just go. I'm not..." she struggles to get the words out. "I'm not angry." She swallows the tears down, and it hurts him. It really does hurt him. "I guess I knew, anyway. We'll talk after."

He nods slowly. He feels as though he's the one who's been cut free.

"But Elliot," she says. He looks at her. "If you don't come out of there alive, I'll never forgive you. We've got five kids."

He grabs her hand, and squeezes tight.

**18.**

There's a plan, of course, but it's not much of one. He's listening at the door, but all he can hear is Joe ranting.

"You're NOTHING, you're JUST LIKE ME. You know that?" he's saying. "At least my wife loved me. WHO loves YOU?"

Elliot's burning with anger but he tries to think smart.

"You're just a stupid, ugly WHORE," then a whack.

Fuck smart.

He kicks the door down and screams "DROP IT," with all his might.

Joe looks stunned, the dumb fuck, but he recovers quickly.

"What's this Elliot? Trying to be a hero?"

"No." He's pointing the gun at Joe, inching slowly closer.

"I'll shoot her. I swear to God I'll shoot her." He grabs Olivia and points the gun to her temple. "If you think I'm joking," he says, "just try me."

"I don't think you're joking."

"Elliot, what are you doing?" This from Olivia. She's breathless.

"Don't be mad, Liv."

"I mean it El, get the fuck out of here." She sounds stressed out. Well, she's got a gun to her head.

"You know I can't do that."

"Yes you CAN. Elliot, please," she pleads.

"Better listen to her Elliot, or you'll both die."

But Elliot just shakes his head, tears in his eyes. "It'll be worth it."

"Elliot. Jesus! That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say." She sounds like she's crying. She IS crying.

"Olivia, stop." His aim is perfect, right at the head. But he'll never take the shot. "Would you do it?" he asks. "Would you walk out of here?"

"That's different," she says.

"How's that?"

"You had to get your wife out. You did the right thing."

"I'm doing the right thing now too," he says.

"No, you're doing a stupid thing now!"

No way. "It's not stupid."

"SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU. He marches Olivia right up to Elliot. Out of the corner of his eye, Elliot sees two marksmen. He throws his gun on the floor, he's not going to use it anyway.

"Better say your goodbyes."

Olivia's crying. "Why did you come back? You're an idiot," she tries to say.

"I love you."

She's shaking her head.

"I do. I love you."

"Times up," says Joe, and Elliot stops thinking, he just grabs her face and kisses her. It's the most surreal, beautiful thing he's ever done.

There's a shot, and Joe's on the floor. Olivia's looking at him in shock, Elliot, not Joe, and they hear a noise and remember Mac, Mac who gets paid to do bad things.

Another shot; this time its Fin. Mac slumps to the floor.

"Don't worry, I didn't kill him," says Fin, brushing past them. "Good timing with..." he waves vaguely at Elliots mouth. "It bought us an extra two seconds. Motherfucker never had a chance."

**19.**

Olivia's in shock, and for once she's not sorry about it.

She's aware of Elliot holding her hand and barking orders, and of Fin hovering nearby, and of stretchers. She doesn't know where Kathy is. Cragen wants her to go to the hospital, but Elliot won't let her without him.

"Do you need to sit down?" he rumbles in her ear. She shakes her head mutely.

She is suddenly overwhelmed by how much has changed, and it leaves her shaky and scared.

"Elliot, you need to give your statement. Olivia has to go to the hospital, now. Fin can ride." Cragen's insistent, and he relents. He looks at her.

"I'll come get you. Don't leave the hospital without me. Liv? OK?"

"OK," she says, and she's aware it might be a lie.

**20.**

It's early morning when he finally starts banging on her door, and he doesn't intend to stop until she opens it. Screw the neighbours anyway, he's tired and pissed off.

"Liv!" he yells, "Open up!"

The door swings open. "Elliot, come on. What are you doing?" Her voice is testy, on edge. He'll tread carefully, but not that carefully.

He raises an eyebrow.

"You left. I told you to wait."

"I know, I'm sorry. I was tired, I just wanted to come home." She says it evenly, but he can tell she's rattled. He stares at her pointedly, but she makes no move.

"Can I come in?" he asks finally.

She sighs and looks at her feet. "Is there any chance we can _not_ this?" she asks.

"None whatsoever," he says, and steps past her.

She closes the door gently behind them, and follows him into her living room. A hazy light is filtering through the windows.

They stare at each other, and it's a stalemate for now.

"Liv," he starts, but she interrupts him.

"How's Kathy?"

He pauses. "She's fine, absolutely fine. Not a scratch on her, probably thanks to you. How many beatings were you gonna take before you stopped pushing it?"

"Don't even go there Elliot, you weren't the one spending the day with them," she retorts angrily.

He eyes her carefully. There's a split in her chin that's been stitched up and the bruise on her cheek is a deep purple. There's some bruising around her neck too, and a huge scab under her nose. But the blood's been washed away at least.

He reaches out and gently tilts her chin to get a better look. "It's not too bad," he says.

"No."

He drops his hand away. Everything that happened mere hours earlier seems unreal, like a dream.

"So I'm not sure if you noticed, but I kissed you before."

She barks out a laugh, she can't help it. Years of dancing around each other and now this? It seems strange to hear Elliot even talking about kissing, let alone in relation to her.

"I do recall, yes."

"Well that's a start," he says lightly. Then he asks, "Do you wish I hadn't?" and his heart thumps.

She feels sorry for him in that moment, Elliot who loves her, who saved her. She wants to reach out to him, but the fact is she's scared. This whole thing is moving quick, and if he changes his mind again about his wife, she knows she won't be able to take it.

"I definitely don't wish you hadn't," she says gently.

He looks relieved. "I mean you heard Fin. That kiss pretty much saved your life."

A smile plays on her lips. "Is that right?"

"Oh yeah." He smiles at her and her stomach explodes with butterflies. God she's pathetic.

"Elliot," she says, and he must recognise the warning in her voice because he jumps in before she can continue.

"I know what you're going to say. But Kathy gave me her blessing to go back for you. You should know that."

She licks her lips. Her throat is dry. "What did you say to her?" she asks.

"I didn't say anything. I just…" he trails off.

"What?" she demands.

"I was upset. She could see it. It's not a bad thing, Liv. It was so emotional in there…I couldn't hold it back this time. And I'm glad, OK?" He lets out a breath. It feels surprisingly good to get it out.

"This thing with me and Kathy, it's not your fault. It's NOT your fault."

There are tears in her eyes. He hates it, but he doesn't reach out, not yet. "I didn't want this to happen," she says.

"But it has. I wish it could have gone down differently, believe me…" he struggles to find the right words. "Its been dying for a long time. OK, Eli was a breath of fresh air, but even he couldn't change things."

She doesn't say anything.

"Look," he says, exasperated, "I can't even tell you when things changed. It's like, one day you were just you, and then suddenly you were YOU, the you I couldn't live without." He stumbles over his words, and finally looks at her.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks softly.

She swallows. "You've changed your mind about Kathy before."

"Because she was pregnant. What was I supposed to do?"

"What was I supposed to do?" she bursts. "I just had to stand by and watch! You wanna know when it changed, THAT'S when. You broke my heart, Elliot."

The words are a slap in the face. He flushes with shame.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers.

She shakes her head. "Its not…it doesn't matter."

He takes two steps and closes the distance between them. He's right in front of her. She doesn't look at him, her eyes firmly on the ground.

"Do you love me?" he asks, his lips brushing her forehead.

What can she say? She looks straight into his eyes.

"Yeah," she answers simply.

He can't speak. She rolls her eyes, even as the tears fall. "Well?" she asks, her voice thick.

His raises an eyebrow, eyes twinkling just a little. "Well what?" he murmers. Their noses are touching.

So. The bastards gonna make her ask.

"Well, do you love me?"

He smiles tenderly, brushes a strand of hair back from her face. Leans forward and lets their lips meet. There's no pressure yet, just a light, insanely gentle brushing. Her heart is pounding so loudly she can feel the reverberation in her ears.

"I do," he says, his breath tickling her mouth.

She nods her head slowly. "By the way, you're an asshole," she whispers, and he grins, and kisses her hard, properly, his hands tangled in her hair and everything.

The light around them isn't so hazy now, and for the first time her place looks beautiful.


End file.
